Keiko El Kamal: Our Daughter - God's Perfect Creation

Keiko, our daughter is growing incredibly. She catches words with their meaning very quickly. Our observation reveals that she is very logic and clever. She for example always tries to find something to dry (toilet paper, napkins, etc.) when she discovers a drop of water on our dining table. Interestingly enough, she never ask for paper or napkins when the water drop is found on the floor. Instead, she uses a rug to clean it.

She looks to be a very friendly little girl. She enjoys her social life well. Last week during and after church's service, she was easily befriended with boys and girls. Guess what? She was the youngest among the children she played with. She is also very happy to walk around our house and to play with our neighboring children.

I and my wife are so thankful to God for this lovely little girl; we are so amazed to see and to live with God's perfect creation and blessing: Keiko El Kamal.

Dr. Sudarwodadi

Two weeks ago, a good friend of mine died after years battling against cancer in his body. He had been an expert in agronomy with a doctorate degree, and served as a pastor in one of our local churches. I visited him in the hospital only two days before he died. Unlike other friends, this man had a very strong memory, even in the terminal stage of his life. He welcomed me back to Indonesia and asked about my study in Oxford in detail. Many friends even do not know what I had been doing in Oxford, but amazingly he knew about the nature and purpose of my study.

I remember the way he encouraged me to go to Oxford about ten months ago. Then I was invited to preach in his church. He was always excited to see young Christians who do further studies. He shared with me his academic journey and proudly convinced me that learning is the way towards serving and influencing others effectively.

Lying on his bed two weeks ago, he kept his encouragement and desire on me saying cheerfully: "When will you complete your Ph.D?" Physically he was weak, but his mind and heart were completely alert. His interest in endless learning is endless!

His children and children in laws are also good friends of me. They mentioned that hours before he died, consciously, he asked the whole family to celebrate communion, and pray the Lord's Prayer together as a family. It is a great testimony for me. Though I do not know him for long, Dr. Sudarwodadi had been a great simple person that God allowed me to learn from.

The Purpose of Suffering

I was last week struck with a note taken about eight months ago when I was in India. It was a lecture on suffering given by a Christian Indian leader.

The Purposes (Benefits?) of Suffering: 1. Suffering helps us to shape our characters 2. Suffering helps us to recognize our true friends 3. Suffering reveals the truth inside us 4. Suffering helps us to hope on the more glorious eternity 5. Suffering helps us to be free from the bound with earthly things 6. Suffering gives us opportunity to think about God 7. Suffering helps us to understand that God suffers with us 8. Suffering helps us to be more sensitive with others who are suffering 9. Suffering helps us to be more open in relationship with others 10. Through suffering, God is working for our good

My Dissertation Supervisor

My dissertation supervisor hold two doctorates. He completed his PhD in physic before entering the wild world of theology and end up with another PhD. We had a long conversation concerning my draft last Friday. Some of you may already know that conversation with dissertation supervisor will normally results in the encouragement to improve the quality, to modify the argument, or worse to rework what you have submitted. Academic supervisors normally say that our methodology needs to be modified, our argument needs to be more focus, that we need more resources to support that argument, or again worse that we do not pose any distinguish and significant argument in our work. I was reminded that as students, we should be expecting to receive more criticism rather than praise and appreciation. A friend of mine who just completed his PhD with distinction said that many if not all research students have been verbally 'abused' and 'insulted' - harsh and sarcastic criticism is not unusual. I myself went through similar experiences - and please accept my apology since sometimes I do the same thing to my own students. What can we say? Attending academic institution is not aimed to prove, but to improve our academic ability. To achieve this purpose, often 'abusive' words are needed if not required. As students we sometimes are in the state of uncertainty, posed by so many unanswerable questions beyond our highest possible rationale. We often feel being so stupid and unworthy. Many students think about giving up their study. The 'promised land' seems to be very far away - and the road to that land seems to be thorny. I benefited from the conversation with my supervisor last Friday and I am so grateful for that. I learnt from his critical thought and the depth of his reflection. His contribution certainly will improve the quality of my dissertation and avoid unnecessary shameful 'blunder' arguments. More interestingly however is his unfailing commitment not to separate academy from the church. Academic achievement should not end in itself. To be honest, Christianity has suffered from the discontinuity of academic theological education from the pastoral responsibilities of the church. Similar but in different setting, many Christians unfortunately live in discontinuity from the message of the Bible. The most impressive experience with my supervisor happened a few days before the conversation. In public (small group prayer of 10 faculty and students), he prayed for me and my study. Wow!!!! What a wonderful treasure to have an academic supervisor who prays for his own pupil! He sharply criticizes me but at the same time he compassionately prays for me. He does what we understand as 'ora et labora.'

God is Beyond Our Description

In 1986, Mark Altrogge wrote a very beautiful song picturing the depth of God's wisdom and love. Here is the lyric: You are beautiful beyond description, too marvellous for words, too wonderful for comprehension, like nothing ever seen or heard. Who can grasp Your infinite wisdom? Who can fathom the depth of Your love? You are beautiful beyond description, Majesty, enthroned above. And I stand, I stand in awe of You; I stand, I stand in awe of You. Holy God, to whom all praise is due, I stand in awe of You. I first heard and sang this song in December 1993 during the funerary mourning service of an influential evangelist and close friend of mine, Jerimia Rim. The wisdom and the love of God are truly beyond my description. Why God decided to end a life of a very fruitful evangelist in his most productive years (he was only 41 when he was died)? We do not have the answer. We cannot ask 'why' to God. To reconstruct the mind of God will result in futility. I believe that this strangeness was experienced by his family, close friends and those who love him. Altrogge's beautiful song carries two significant messages. First, the author knows that God is great, and he therefore desires to picture God's greatness. Unfortunately, as indicated by the lyric, the author fails: God is beyond description. His wisdom is too high to be grasped; His love is too deep to be comprehended. So, instead of successfully picturing God, the author of this song has to admit that he fails. His failure however is the very point where we can see and experience the beauty of God. We often if not always fail to comprehend God. 'Readers, please be careful if you feel that you understand God!' Once we claim that we understand God, we may fall into a manipulative process of formulating idea about God. Our conception of God is often driven by our self-centred desires. To be honest, we often create an unbiblical image of God. Instead of making God like an laboratory object of research, the song invites us to let God alone in His infinite beauty. Second, regardless of our 'permanent' disability to comprehend the wisdom and love of God, the author rightly encourages us to keep 'standing in awe of God.' Praising God is wthout question our 'unpaid' duty even if God does not fit with our expectation. While the song indicates the failure of the author to comprehend God - to be fair - the song also shows that the author is successful in keeping his commitment to worship God. This is in fact the true worship: a thanksgiving and praise to God even in the midst of difficult situation, when God seems to be far away from our desire. This reflection is written in remembrance of our brother, Jerimia Rim. Thirteen years ago (few months before he died), he led me a personal tour in the brand new church building in Putat Gede, and shared me his vision for the city of Surabaya. For Meliani, JR, and all people who love and respect him, may this song brings comfort and renewal in our commitment to serve God that is not always easily comprehended.

Living in God's Light - Living by Grace (1 Jn 1.5-2.8)

The first epistle of John believes that Christian identity is straightly related to living in the light as a contrast against living in darkness (1 Jn 1.5-2.8). 1. Jesus came to the world to preach that 'God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all' (1 Jn 1.5). To believe in God through Jesus, His Son means to live (literally: 'to walk') not in darkness (1 Jn 1.6-7). Our Christian identity is defined by our fellowship with both God and other believers; and our fellowship with God and with other believers is described by the way we live. Note: the fellowship with other believers is discussed in 1 Jn 2.9-11). 2. Through the blood of Jesus, we who believe in Him are cleansed and purified (1 Jn 1.7). The blood of Jesus is effective only to those who admit and confess their sins before God (1 Jn 1.8-9). The blood of Jesus enables believers to live in the light over against the darkness. The community of believers is the fellowship of women and men who have been purified and cleansed by the blood of Jesus and called to walk a righteous life. Believers are women and men with new identity and new ethics. The very foundation of Christian ethics is therefore the cleansing by the precious blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus is the prime motivation and the only enabler for believers to live in God's light. 3. The fellowship in God is marked by consistently keeping and obeying the truth of the Word of God (1 Jn 2.4-6). The old era has passed, now we live in a new era (1 Jn 2.8). Living in God's light means stop sinning and discontinue to live in sinful behaviour! (1 Jn 2.1). But even if we fail to live a righteous life, the forgiveness of God prevails and is available for those who admit and confess their sins (1 Jn 2.2). The main point of the text is without question a calling and encouragement to live a righteous living. It is not a choice for those who claim to be the follower of Jesus - it is related to the very foundation of Christian identity. At the same time, the text also recognizes the power of God's grace over the human weaknesses. The text assures us that forgivenss is always available at any time. John seems to believe not only in a single possible repentance. Sanctification by the blood of Jesus is an ongoing process that begins with crucial decision to believe God in and through Jesus. 4. At one point, the focus of this passage is a strong ethical encouragement. Christian ethics is not additional in nature. Christian ethics is attached at the very heart of our Christian identity. Being and doing cannot be separated. At the other point John strongly believes in the abundance grace of God. This grace is unlimited and available even for the whole world (1 Jn 2.2). The passage indicates that the blood of Jesus has the power to cleanse the sinners not only once at the beginning, but also continuously as we live in Him. Notice the parallelism of 1 Jn1.10 and 1 Jn 2.6 which I think serves as the very foundation of the passage. God's commandment is not impossible commandment because God's grace first and continually cleanses, empowers and enables believers to live in obedience. The source of command is at the same time the source of the empowerment. What we as believers need to do is simply to live by God's grace and in obediece to His command. May I invite you?

'The Darkness is Passing Away, and the True Light is Already Shinning' (1 Jn 2.8).

Trust and Obey

On Wednesday morning, we sang the old classic song 'Trust and Obey' in our chapel. The last time I sang this song was probably some 20 years ago when I regularly attended youth services in my high school - but amazingly God through this song has been doing a lot of comfort and encouragement to me and my family here and now (especially these last few days). Please read the words attentively, and let God speaks to our heart.

To accompanny this song, my Bible reading this morning straight forwardly proclaims the core of Christian discipleship: 'Whoever claims to live in Jesus must walk as Jesus did' (1 Jn 1.6).

'Trust and Obey' (John H. Sammis & Daniel B. Towner) When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word, What a glory He sheds on our way! While we do His good will, He abides with us still, And with all who will trust and obey. Refrain: Trust and obey, for there’s no other way To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey. Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies, But His smile quickly drives it away; Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear, Can abide while we trust and obey. Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share, But our toil He doth richly repay; Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross, But is blessed if we trust and obey. But we never can prove the delights of His love Until all on the altar we lay; For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows, Are for them who will trust and obey. Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet. Or we’ll walk by His side in the way. What He says we will do, where He sends we will go; Never fear, only trust and obey.

The Element of Surprise (Shocking?)

About a month ago, one of our scholars (a very good friend of mine), an expert in 'the Trinity debate and the Holy Spirit' shared about his mother who decided to trust her life in Jesus. This scholar could not believe with her mother's sudden and immediate decision. At first, he felt that her mother was not serious with her decision. The fact that he has been praying for years for her mother to repent does not remove the element of surprise (or 'shocking' to speak).

This woman is 74 years old now and have been going through two cancer operations and some treatments. She had been opposing Christianity in her entire life up to her repentance. She disagreed with her son's decision to serve as a pastor and a theology lecturer. This fellow scholar (note that he holds two PhDs!) compared her mother's repentant with 'sending mountain into the sea' - something possible only through the intervention of God.

This morning this fellow scholar shared again about her mother. She was baptized two weeks ago. In her personal testimony after the baptism, she shared about the tragedy of loosing her biological father during the second World War - but now she is so thankful to God for adopting her as his daughter. The once fatherless woman now has eternal, saving and loving Father. What a great speech from an old woman who is starting a new life! God restores the deepest need of her; God heals her wound exactly on its deepest spot. Her genuine testimony has deeply touched my heart.

Upon hearing this testimony, I was reminded that God's miracles are available to all kinds of people: men and women, young and old, rich and poor, educated and uneducated, married and single. The Holy Spirit is still at work. The Spirit spoke to this old lady, and immediately (and surprisingly) she decided to trust her life in Christ.

Are we ready for the element(s) of shocking in our life in Christ? For those who are in Christ and fully dependent on his grace, surprises and miracles are not far and impossible. God listens to our prayers attentively. The time will come when we will personally experience God's greatness in our lives. We are limited, but our heavenly Father is unlimited.

God is Real

'That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched - this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you may also have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete.' (1 Jn 1.1-4; NIV)

This morning this passage spoke to me as never before. Both John the Gospel and John the epistles have been accused by liberal scholars of presenting the unhistorical Jesus. My reading on the passage leads to a different direction. John wrote about someone he knew well. He (and people around him; 'we' is used here) has seen him, heard his teaching and touched him. The language of this passage is very vivid. Jesus, the Son of God was a real human in his appearance two thousand years ago. The focus of the humanness of Jesus points to his real presence with John and other believers. For John, Jesus was not simply an abstract spiritual ideology. The fellowship between the believers and Jesus was something that is perceivable by the human senses. John's motivation in sharing this encounter with Jesus is singled out in verse three. John invited people to join the real fellowship with Jesus and his Father.

Two sets of simple reflective questions came to me this morning: First, do we now as Christians still experience the real perceivable fellowship with Jesus? Is our faith in Jesus genuine or theoretical based on 'secondary resources'? The word 'faith' is not the same with the word 'experience.' Faith without genuine 'experience' however is abstract, meaningless, and fruitless. The next question would be whether our life experiences will still attract people to trust their lives in God? I am indeed afraid that many Christians are even no longer impressed with and interested in their own lives. The presence of Jesus is no longer felt in the lives of so many believers. If this is the case, how can we expect people to trust their lives in Jesus?

Second, how deep is our desire to share our encounter with Jesus with other people? Does sharing Jesus with others occupy prominent place in our lives? What is our highest or deepest life's motivation? The first epistle of John was written with a single motivation: it is to share Jesus, the divine Son of God whose presence is real historically and perceivable to human beings.

As I finished reading and reflecting the passage above, I said to God in my prayer, 'Amen! I thank you Lord, for being real in my life.' Imitating John, allow me to invite us all not only to know God theologically, but also to experience him genuinely and personally in our lives.

Red and White

The Flag of the Republic of Indonesia. Red represents bravery and courage. White represents purity and integrity. The two colours picture the way the country was struggling and fighting for the independence. Today, Indonesia celebrates her 61st year as an independent country. Let us pray for this country, so that the 'red-white spirit' continues to burn in the hearts of the Indonesian people in looking forward for a better peaceful future of the country.

Humble Scholars

About a month ago, two of OCMS (Oxford Centre for Mission Studies) students completed their Ph.D. Both of these students passed the examination brilliantly and received the highest mark possible from both the internal and external examiners. One of them is a university lecturer in Romania. The topic of his dissertation, to be honest, is not easy to be digested: 'The Qatal//Yiqtol (Yiqtol//Qatal) Verbal Sequence in Couplets in the Hebrew Psalter with Special Reference to Ugaritic Poetry: A Case Study in Systemic Functional Grammar.' I said to some friends that his doctoral dissertation uses some heavenly words - untouchable by ordinary people. Jokingly, I said that this is a work applicable for the world other than ours. The title alone shows how genious the writer is. His level of thought is somehow untouchable for the ordinaries. People praised him for his discipline and academic achievement. Months ago, he expressed his plan to complete his Ph.D before the end of July 2006 and he fulfilled what he desired. One of our professors said that he has been able to manage his study plan successfully more than any other students. My view on him is slightly different: I do not deny the fact the he is a genious and a discipline student, but I found him also as a humble person. In his speech before leaving Oxford, he said, 'Let alone the plan of human being, it is only by God's gracious grace that all things happen.' Setting a plan is good, but none can be completed without the grace of God. Even being a discipline and a hard-worker student are possible only by God's grace. This simple statement has touched me deeply, especially since it came out from someone whose dissertation is full with complexity and untouchable words. The other person who completed the Ph.D is a Kenyan woman. In her speech, she thanked for her long-suffering family (husband and children) back in Kenya. Can you imagine to live without your husband and children for the sake of your research - not weeks or months, but years. It is not easy either for her family in Kenya: a lot of tears! She said, 'Women can feel that completing a dissertation is like a five years labor.' She also is a humble person. Quoting from her conversation with one of our fellows, she said, 'My Ph.D is simply God's will; If God never will, the Ph.D can never be completed.' Her 5 years labor did not serve her human ambition of pursuing doctoral degree, but as her submissive act to the will of God. Her hard work is an obvious sign of her obedience to the will of God. So what do you think? Both fellows showed that the combination of God's grace and our obedience to the will of God is the key to the blessing of the 'promise land.' I am so proud and thankful for being in this community of humble scholars. Despite of the individualistic research culture (you know and are interested only in what you are doing), God's role is affirmed. Viva to brother Silviu Tatu of Romania and sister Emily Onyango of Kenya.

Where can we start to search for the truth?

One of the world's giant philosophers is Plato. He made a sharp distincion between what is real and what is unreal; the physical and the spiritual; the seen and the unseen; the future and the present; the idea and the reality Plato developed a very rigid dualistic view on reality. For Plato, the search for truth can be found only in the unseen spiritual transendent future reality. The picture shows Plato pointing his finger to the heaven (known as Platonic heaven) as the real venue of eternal and absolute truth. Eternal truth is understood as idea or knowledge (known as the Forms). What is seen and physically perceivable is not real. What is seen is only a shadow (or explanation) of what is unseen (the reality, the eternal and absolute truth). Aristotle found himself comfortable with a view contradict to his teacher. In the picture, Aristotle faces his arm to the earth, a symbolic of pointing to a place where the search for truth should begin. Aristotle stressed the materialistic and the presentness nature of truth and reality. Truth is something that we can see, touch, feel, smell and perceive - now and here in our earthly life. Though the above explanation is far from comprehensive, one will soon recognize that Plato tended to be more deductive, while Aristotle tended to be more inductive in searching for the eternal reality and truth. What do you think about Christian theology and life? Where should we start our search for truth and where can we find the real reality and the real truth?

The Prasadjas

I begin the history of this blog by posting my family picture taken in early June 2006 in London.

I wish and pray that the blog will be useful and fruitful to its readers: Strenghtening faith, nurturing love and keeping hope alive.