Inspiring Words from Rudyard Kipling

Few days ago, I was with LDP (Leadership Development Program) students, having fellowship with them in their annual retreat. One of the speakers cited inspiring words from Rudyard Kipling, saying:

'If you don’t get what you want, it’s a sign either that you did not seriously want it, or that you tried to bargain over the price.’

At one point, these words seem to place all responsibilities on us. We are responsible to decide what desire we desire. We are also responsible to test whether the desire we desire is truly a desire of us. Lastly, any desire we true have is not free, and we are fully responsible to pay the price. Only by fulfilling those three responsibilities, we will transform our true desire into reality. God seems to work only behind the scene.

At the other point, however, these words convey the truth and the reality of most of us. Often what we perceive as our desire springs only from our lips - not from our heart. Desire that comes merely from lips gives birth to a frustration. On the contrary, desire that comes from our heart gives (or should give) birth to a deep commitment at whatever cost it will take.

May this saying transform and challenge the way we live this precious life God has given us.

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) was an English author and poet. He was awarded Nobel Prize in literature in 1907.

A. J. Cronin on God's Perfect Ways

Upon my arrival from Germany in 2001, my father asked me to read a beautiful poem by A. J. Cronin. This poem is truly a wonderful treasure to me. In a line with that poem, few weeks ago, a friend of mine shared in the office chapel her reflection on what she called as 'trusting God.' Both the poem and the reflection confirm and uncover what God has been recently showing me through dreams. They teach me that in all situation whether it is good or bad, it is always appropriate to say, 'It is up to you God. Lead me according to your perfect way, though it may sound silly according to my own judgment.' Do enjoy Cronin's poem below:

Life is no straight and easy corridor

along which we travel

free and unhampered,

but a maze of passages,

through which we must seek our way,

at times, lost and confused,

now and again checked in a blind alley.

But always, if we have faith,

a door will open for us,

not perhaps one that we ourselves

would ever have thought of,

but one that will ultimately

prove good for us

Love: A Borderless Christian Vision

Few weeks ago, I got an opportunity to visit the United States. It was for the purpose of attending the Global Leadership Forum of Compassion International. About eleven years ago I left the country after completing my first degree in theology. Then, I lived in Chicago for three years. I felt somehow that my recent visit was different. I experienced my second culture shock to the American culture (and people so to speak).

September 11, 2001 has changed the world map and situation, especially the United States. The brutal terrorist attack on WTC and the Pentagon created deep trauma for the Americans and the rest of the world. This attack, in my perspective found its ground in hatred. As a result of that traumatic event, entering the United States has been becoming more and more difficult, especially for those who come from Islamic countries or countries with huge number of Muslim population, like Indonesia – which in addition to that situation is unfortunately famous as the home for some of the most wanted terrorists. In some European countries, I know by my own experience, the time for visa processing for countries associated with terrorism is longer compared with other countries. A friend of mine told me few weeks before my departure to the United States that obtaining a US-Visa is considered more difficult than approaching the gate of heaven (read: salvation). In fact, my first application for US-Visa was refused. Praise God, I got the US-visa on my second coming to the embassy. A friend of mine had to apply for three times before he got the US-visa. The list of so many sad stories of visa refusal is to be frank endless.

Somehow, I felt uncomfortable with my recent trip to the United States. I felt a little bit intimidated. It was uneasy for me to face the immigration officer at the Los Angeles International Airport. My good fellow told me how he previously was randomly selected for further investigation in the Airport, and it took three hours before he was finally ‘released.’ Thank to God for making my way to enter the United States smooth - people do support me in prayer, and God answered!.

There I met friends, brother and sisters in Christ who warmly welcomed me. This truly was a comfort to me, knowing that friendship and brotherhood in Christ is not limited and bordered by nationality and passport issuing countries. The world’s perspective on the United States and the United States’ perspective on the world may be dramatically changed because of the horror and hatred of 9/11, but friendship and brotherhood in Christ have a different stronger foundation: it is love, a vision given by our Lord himself to rule all of the world’s elements to live in harmony. Love is not only a feeling nor an action, but a vision that should drive the life of the believers and all creatures. It is love that overcame my second culture shock upon visiting the United States of America.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MORA (May 26, 2008)

We visited the burial site of our beloved daughter and sister, Moravidelita El Nytia last Monday, May the 26^th. Then was exactly one year after she was delivered from her mother’s womb. Keiko enthusiastically led us all singing ‘Happy Birthday to Mora.’ We sang that song three times. The situation was heartrending. Esther once again deeply cried expressing her apology. Keiko commented, ‘Mommy is sad!’ – ‘Keiko is also sad!’ I kept my mouth shut, though I still felt the pain inside.

We also visited the tomb of Mora’s ‘friends in heaven’: Johan Imanuel and Jaqueline Kana. Both died when they were very young in age. As I walked along the graveyard, my eyes became extremely sensitive and insightful towards kids mausoleum: I sensed strongly the solidarity and camaraderie with parents who lost their babies and young children – and many of us pose identical unreturned question: WHY? God knows the answer, and only God is able to validate the rationale. In most cases however, God does not make the answer and the justification available. Whatever genius the elucidation is, we will not consent with it anyway. Most of grieving parents do not need words. Our ability to comprehend the mind of God is worthless - and I exceedingly doubt the accuracy of our inadequate emotional comprehension. What God offers us and in chorus searching for from us is neither clarification nor comfort, but true friendship and companionship (Heb 4.15): things that we need most!

The Story of Jonah: 'Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God'

One of the most genius prophets in the Old Testament Books is Jonah. Jonah had the capability to detect the mind of God, even three or four steps ahead. The reason of why Jonah did not willing to go to Nineveh is stated in Jonah 4.2. He knew already that God could easily cancel His plan to destroy the Ninevehs. Jonah’s knowledge of God was so precise and exactly proven.

In contrast, God seemed to be lack of knowledge about Jonah. He seemed to send wrong person to accomplish His mission. As a leader, one will choose someone trustable, loyal, capable, and qualified to sit as his or her assistant – or in this context, as God’s ambassador, apostle or prophet. God chose Jonah, but Jonah went to the opposite direction (1.3). Jonah completely and intentionally disobeyed God.

Jonah knew God well, but God did not know Jonah well enough.

Jonah refused to go to Nineveh because of some likely motives. First, Jonah might be afraid of the Ninevehs. They were famous of their iniquity. They were evildoers. They did not know their right hands from their left. In New Living Translation’s words, ‘the Ninevehs lived in spiritual darkness.’ Entering the city of Nineveh was a suicidal action. Second, Jonah might be reluctant to preach God’s message to the Ninevehs (the evil non-Jews) because of his narrow Jewish exclusive nationalistic spirit. As a member of the covenant community (the chosen nation), Jonah did not want the evil Ninevehs to be saved. Jonah was a true genuine Jewish prophet. These two reasons had unfortunately created an extremely selfish prophet of God. Jonah loved his national identity, his religion and himself more than he loved God who indeed sent him.

The book of Jonah therefore shows the contrast between the infinite love of God and the coldness of Jonah. Jonah preferred to sink and died in the deep of the sea instead of to preaching the Lord’s judgment to the Ninevehs. But God sent a big fish to save Jonah. This rescue was not for the sake of his Jewish prophet Jonah, but because of his unlimited love to the evil non-Jewish Ninevehs. The end of the book strengthens this argument (4.10-11). Though according to the author, God’s knowledge about Jonah was bare minimum, His love was unfailing. On the contrary, though Jonah’s knowledge about God was accurate, he was an egotistic and selfish prophet. The hero in this narrative is brilliantly pictured as God’s compassion and abundant love – not human super knowledge.

As I am writing this reflection, my memory goes to dazzling inspiring words of one of modern prophets to the poor, Bob Pierce. He said, ‘Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God.’ Pierce is the founder of World Vision International. The words have been since then the motto of the organization. World Vision has been used by God for years to bless millions of unfortunate people.

The Ninevehs were unfortunate. They were evildoers and doomed to death, but Jonah, the prophet of God was not keen to see them transformed and saved. God’s heart was broken for the Ninevehs, Jonah’s was not.

My Heroine, Esther

Last week, I delivered a sermon for a Sunday service in Medan. The topic was taken out of my favorite heroine, Esther. I read Esther 4.10-17 and 5.1-8. Here are the five qualities of Esther that crowned her as one of the greatest women in the biblical history:

First, Esther started her fight with prayer and fasting. Though the personal and the generic name of God is absent from the book, Esther’s dependence on God was obvious. The heroes and heroines of God are distinct, exactly because the source of the power and authority come distinctively from God himself.

Second, Esther was not only an active commander; she also fought together with her people. She requested that all Jewish people in Susa to pray and fast for three days. Her command bound not only to all Jewish people in Susa, but also to herself and her close maids. Esther ran a prayer and fasting movement in the whole nation with her own prayer and fasting. Her character was certainly far from NATO (No Action, Talk Only).

Third, Esther was an extraordinarily valiant risk-taker. The law said (and all people knew) that anyone who appears before the king in his inner court without being invited is doomed to die unless the king holds out his gold scepter. And the king has not called for Esther to come to him for more than a month. The king’s invitation, I believe, was not unrelated with his sexual favor (or perhaps flavor). In chapter two, Esther was given a special one year beauty treatment before she came to the king. The one year beauty treatment proved to be successful. The king loved her. But the situation was now different, for more than a month, the king has not had sexual appetite towards Esther. The one year beauty treatment is in the book of Esther contrasted against the three days fasting. The three days fasting should even be worse devastating Esther’s physical performance, and therefore ruining the king’s sexual appetite. Hence, Esther said, ‘If I must die, I am willing to die.’ Hero and Heroine are risk-takers. The greater risk one maturely, courageously and free-willingly takes determines his or her heroic quality. In my words, ‘we are what we risk.’

Fourth, Esther was not a self-centered person. Esther risked herself, neither for the sake of her own nor for her own family. She was the queen. She lived in a pleasant palace. She enjoyed comfort and security. No one knew she was a Jew. Why would she sacrifice herself by placing her in a very perilous position? The answer is: she risked herself because of his people, the Jews were facing extermination. Half of the kingdom was even available and offered for Esther, why would she do all these ‘stupid’ things? No hero or heroine lives for him or herself. Heroes and heroines live for the sake of others.

Fifth, Esther did not run away from her strategic position as a queen. She was responsible with her position. She knew that she was the (only) key person to transform the circumstances. She was the one (no others) to turn the situation around. While so many people run away from difficulties, hero or heroine will always be there to stand in front of the world realities; and Esther did it.

As I meditated on Esther, I remembered one of the most celebrated modern martyrs, Dr. Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He was young, genius and brilliant. He was invited to the US by his colleagues, the Niebuhrs, to teach at Union Theological Seminary in New York. Bonhoeffer did sail to New York, but he preferred to return to Germany to die under the rezim of Hitler few months afterward. Bonhoeffer did not live long, but as Jesus, he did not live for himself. Bonhoeffer lived for God and for his nation as what Esther did for her God and her people.

Finally, the absence of God’s name in the book of Esther demonstrates that first, God worked behind the scene as he often does; yet second, the absence of God’s name explains the nature of God’s economy. God always works together with his chosen heroes and heroines. To be a hero or a heroine is not so much a matter of human capabilities, but keenness to be used by God, that is a willingness to risk oneself for those who are in need.

Sermon From The Most Reverend Spiderman

Jeffrey Kurniawan, a good friend of mine, delivered an interesting speech at the morning chapel yesterday. He looked at the 27th chapter of the book of Numbers, exposing all the possibilities of Moses’ sin.

Indeed, Jeffrey was not able to conclude what was the definite sin of Moses. Whatever the sin was, however, the punishment is clear. Moses was prevented from entering the promise land. In the speaker’s perspective, Moses was not deserved for such heavy punishment. Why God was so angry? Why did God grant Moses a devastating end, after a long journey and career as faithful servant of Yahweh, great leader of Israel, and bearer of the Torah? A period of 40 years in the wilderness was not a short and easy time to pass. Moses was both the true hero of Israel and of God. He freed the Israelites from the bondage of Egypt. Beside his responsibility as God’s spokesman (as a prophet), Moses also acted as priest, offering intercessory prayers for the Israelites. God’s decision might have hurt Moses emotionally. God sent Moses ‘to die’ before reaching the promise land.

Jeffrey was correct, I think, in clarifying that it is not the content of the sin that sent Moses ‘to die.’ It is who did such sin that matter most. Not the action, but the actor (not what, but who) that was more important in determining the nature of the punishment. Then he quote words from his favorite movie, Spiderman, saying, ‘With great power, comes great responsibility.’ Exactly same sin would not have resulted in same punishment, if it were not Moses who did it. It is a great irony, isn’t it? Moses successful career of leadership, not his sin, had been the cause of his unfortunate fate. Please do reflect on it! In my own words, ‘your success may become your own suicidal weapon.’

Allow me to put Peter Parker’s words in a larger context. Here is the fuller quotation:

‘Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words: “With great power comes great responsibility.” This is my gift, my curse. Who am I? I’m Spider-man.’

These words explain everything.

(1) We are not called to fear of building our own success or career. Even Spiderman, who may not be a born again Christian is not afraid of exercising the power within him. God grants us power according to his sovereign will. The only responsibility is to be responsible.

(2) We cannot protest to God for what he has invested in our lives. We are not what we wear. We are not what we have. We are not what we do. We are what God has designed and called us to be according to his wonderful grace. And your power is somehow a reflection of God’s calling. Therefore, be faithful to God’s glorious call! Do not be glad simply because of your great power! But do not be afraid of great responsibility! Both power and responsibility define who we are. We cannot separate one from the other.

(3) Power requires responsibility, subsequently, the greater power we exercise the greater responsibility we have to perform. Ironically and sadly, many people these days are seeking power without responsibility, which is absolutely equal to ‘faith without morality.’

To Jeffrey, I (and perhaps also others) thank you for delivering again an inspiring sermon. But Jeffrey and I would like to thank you the most Reverend Peter ‘Spiderman’ Parker for helping us breaking the mystery of ‘Moses’ code.’

Keiko 3 Years

I and Esther praise and thank God for Keiko reaching her third Birthday yesterday. She is healthy and smart; shinny and gorgeous; cute and energetic. We are blessed to have such a daughter like Keiko. And it is a true delighted privilege to ops for the opportunity in bringing her up by ourselves. We are learning positive, enjoyable and firm process in raising her up with God.

Since months ago, she has been always asking for Birthday cake and Birthday candles. Yesterday, she was asked to make a wish before blowing the candles. Keiko, as her parents always do, prayed her wish to go to school this year. Her uncle said a little very meaningful and purposeful prayer: ‘Lord, please provide all things that Keiko needs for her life, and please help Keiko to utilize and maximize all potentials that You have given in her life.’ I call it an ‘in and out prayer’ – a blessing that produces fruits to God, the ultimate source of blessing; a promise that brings glory to God alone, the promise keeper. Your prayers for her are truly appreciated and precious to us.

Keiko enjoyed some Birthday presents presented to her. She got little dinosaurs, camera toy and Pluto doll. Her mother bought her shoes, sandals, a rain coat and a beautiful swimsuit. We also treated her for a horse riding and a hot-water fun swimming at Sari Ater. And certainly a tiramisu Birthday cake was there especially for her. In the picture above, she looks very happy with her mom.

Few weeks ago, I and my family went to Puncak for a family weekend. The main purpose was to entertain Keiko with nature. We visited Taman Safari Indonesia and Taman Bunga Nusantara. At Taman Safari Indonesia, Keiko was happy to see her ‘friends’ around. She fed some antelopes, zebras and deer. She also rode a pony horse, a camel and an elephant. She watched a tiger show and enjoyed a ride on an artificial train. Her happiness was complete when she was able to touch and feel the rain.

At Taman Bunga Nusantara, we introduced Keiko to many different beautiful flowers and plants. She ran here and there. It was a nice sunny day. It was not surprising that Sun Flower became her favorite. Keiko spent more than an hour dancing near the fountain. She was all wet. I think, it was the dancing that is most memorable for her.

The trip was nice and refreshing for all of us. For me, it is a reminder that we, human beings, are not the only living creature in this world. God created trees and animals too. God created the world (Gen 1); He loves the world (Jn 3.16); and through Jesus he reconciled all creatures (Col 1.20). We then need to love and care for other living creatures and for the earth that God has created for us to live with and to live in.

This trip was made possible because one of our best friends provided us with luxury accommodation for free. The treat was offered in celebrating Keiko’s Birthday next week. And I want to thank him for being part of our family’s journey of faith.

Johan Imanuel 19.9.2005-1.3.2008

Good friends of God, Ageng and Hesti lost their only child, Johan Imanuel last Saturday. As I did for hours, God might also cry facing this uneasy situation. God loves both the parents and the son, but he decided to separate them for a while. God certainly knew the consequences of his somehow ultimate 'controversial' decision: He let the brokenhearted parents cry tearfully, and subsequently, he allowed his very own heart 'tortured,' in sharing the deep sadness of his good friends.

Johan Imanuel is only two and a half year old. He was born on September the 19, 2005. I, my wife and Keiko visited Hesti in the hospital only hours before she delivered Johan prematurely. Baby Johan was born with serious abnormality. He survived for more than two years after going through some major surgeries both in Indonesia and Singapore. His parents had done the best efforts to cure Johan. Johan and his parents visited us for lunch on the first day of 2007. He looked healthy and happy. That was the only chance for me and my family to see Johan alive.

Ageng and Hesti are good friends of mine too. I and my wife cried with them. We had gone through similar experience 10 months ago when we lost our daughter, Mora. What happened to Ageng and Hesti, I realize, seems to be far more difficult, yet we felt that their feeling and crying are not unknown to us.

This posting is another proof that human suffering can visit all kind of people: to the believers or to the unbelievers; to the faithful or to the faithless; to good people or to the evil ones. It is not to us to judge the fairness of God's economy. Whether there is purposes behind human suffering or not, only God knows the mystery. One is certain, in allowing his friends to experience suffering, God is allowing himself to suffer with them - and absolutely it is not an easy and simple decision to be executed.

Lessons in Logic

Few days ago, I received a worth-to-read e-mail from my friend. A set of Jokes, but an elegant one: The words contain wisdom that invites us to rethink about and reflect on our very life. Enjoy!

1. If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
2. I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
3. Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect..... . So why practice?
4. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
5. Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.
6. How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?
7. Money is not everything. There's Master card & Visa.
8. One should love animals. They are so tasty.
9. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
10. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
11. The wise never marry. And when they marry they become otherwise.
12. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
13. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today
14. 'Your future depends on your dreams.' So go to sleep
15. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning
16. 'Hard work never killed anybody.' But why take the risk?
17. 'Work fascinates me' - I can look at it for hours
18. The more you learn, the more you know; The more you know, the more you forget; The more you forget, the less you know.; So.. why learn?
19. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... What more can I say?

Profound Questions Lead to Sound Answers

Another fresh speech was delivered this morning by one of our pastors, Petrus Nawawi. The sermon is taken from a classic conversation between Jesus and the Pharisee in Mark 12.28-34. Unlike other speakers who normally focus on Jesus’ answer (the content of the law), Nawawi took The Pharisee’s question as the starting point of his message. The question on the most important law was interpreted by Nawawi as an inquiry towards priority in life. The reality says that seldom we ask question concerning what is the most important thing in our life.

I am learning that a sound answer always come out of a profound question. Our society and culture unfortunately teach people simply to find and memorize answers, without training them to pose deep inquiries and questions.

If we perceive religious answer as truth, the failure of formulating questions results in partial understanding of truth. Truth is divorced from both its original context and our contemporary context. This phenomena leads towards a new faith and community that is completely alien from Christian faith and Christian community: an individual faith that does not touch the reality of life; an ‘answer’ that does not really answer the problems of our contemporary world; a ‘truth’ that is theoretical.

I encourage you not to worry to walking through paths full of questions and uncertainty. Keep asking questions! And God will release you with touching and transforming answers

Fresh Interpretation on Joseph's Life

Yesterday, a good friend of mine (since my high school days) spoke in staff chapel meeting on the life of Joseph. He (Jeffrey Kurniawan) reminded us that life is not always smooth and bright. There are times when we have to go through dark and difficult moments. Often, we may not in authority to control our situation. Yet, he said, we are always in authority to make a right decision and positive responses towards those unwanted situations.

By exploring the life of Joseph, he even was able to convince that bad things are not simply ‘accessories’ to our lives. In the narrative of Joseph, the extremely undesired situations had been intentionally used by God to lead us into so many positive and great opportunities. I think – It is here that the biblical concept of success finds its root: the ultimate victory of Jesus over a long way of persecution and death. Folks, do not underestimate undesired things and situations! God may use them to bring you into a grand and bright future.

Faith Anomaly

The hierarchy of faith as normally perceived by worldwide community of believers is:

• First, the lowest grade is those who do not know about, believe in and experience God’s power and miraculous deeds. We may call them as unbelievers.

• Second, next to that lowest grade is for those who intellectually know about the miraculous deeds of God, but do not believe in and experience that mighty power. Some may point this characteristic to the agnostics and the atheisms.

• Third, higher than that is for those who know about and believe in the power of God. Unfortunately their belief and knowledge are limited to the level of theory. They never see or first handedly experience God’s miraculous power. The Pentecostals and the Charismatics tend to accuse scholars and the academy as the common representative of this category.

• Fourth, the final level is for those who know about, believe in, see and experience God’s mighty power.

Against the traditional view, and from a different angle, I offer a modified of the third model as the highest in faith hierarchy. What if someone who never see or experience God’s miraculous power persists and faithful to believe in God? He or she does not yet see and does not yet taste God’s power, but decides to keep his/her faith in God boldly. This sounds stupid and crazy, yet this is truly a faith that is unconditional, bold and at the same time genuine. A faith that is completely free to believe in God no matter what happen around and to us. A faith that is not blind, but founded on the ground of conscious and mature decision. This kind of faith has its ultimate subject and ultimate ground in the true knowledge of God, rather than simply in His power or miracles.

Beatitude in Psalm 1

Joy or happy or blessed are those who do not follow…, who do not stand around…, and who do not join in… The state of our blessedness is determined by at least three factors: (1) our orientation, (2) our position, and (3) our community. If our orientation is to listen to the advice of the wicked, then we will not enjoy the fullness of God’s blessing. The same devastating result will happen if we invite and allow ourselves to continually live around the sinners. And still, God’s blessing is far away for those who enjoy the fellowship with scoffers. Now let us review our lives! What is the direction of our life? In what kind of place do we enjoy to live our life? And with whom do we enjoy to live our life?

Happiness, joyfulness and blessedness are to be found in listening and obeying the will of God stated through His words in all times (lit: the Torah). Happiness, joyfulness and blessedness are according to verse 3: a sufficient life (v. 3a), an effective life (v. 3b), an efficient life (v. 3c), and a successful and prosperous life (v. 3d). A tree planted along the riverbank will sufficiently live forever. A tree that bears fruit each season is an effective tree. A tree with leaves that never wither is an efficient tree in using the water and solar energy around. And finally whatever the righteous does, it will result in success.

On the contrary, for those who do not listen and obey God’s word, happiness, joyfulness and blessedness should not even be their dream. They are worthless and nothing (worth of nothing) (v. 4); they will be judged, condemned, punished and placed separately from the righteous (the happy, the joyful and the blessed) (v. 5).

The true power however lies not on human decision but on Yahweh’s. The Lord watches, guides and protects the path of the righteous. All happiness, joyfulness and blessedness come from the Lord. The path of the wicked, on the other hand, leads to destruction, partly because without listening and obeying God’s word we are lost from blessing, and partly because without listening and obeying His word, come the judgment of God.

Examine Yourself: A Short Reflection

Yesterday, I have learnt something very important in life. And I thank God for His wisdom. Listen to these words: ‘the outcome of exposing the weaknesses of others is the exposure of your very own weaknesses; The more you speak about and spread (or publish) other people’s weaknesses, the more your weaknesses will be known and opened to others; When you protest against or complain on others (because of their weaknesses), even more people will soon protest against or complain on you (because of your weaknesses.’ Therefore, keep our heart pure and humble. Do not point to others’ weaknesses - before you examine your very inner life! God himself is the one who is without weaknesses, and to Him alone all the glory.

Rev. Dr. Jacob Tomatala

Yesterday, I and my colleagues were asked to accompany Rev. Dr. Jacob Tomatala for lunch. He is teaching a graduate program in our institute this week. He is one of the leading figures in the subject of Christian leadership in Indonesia. Dr. Tomatala got his doctorate from Fuller where he studied Christian leadership under Professor Clinton. He has been leading a philosophy and leadership institute in Jakarta for years. Dr. Tomatala’s passion for Christian leadership is undoubted.

I met Dr. Tomatala several times. Let me highlight some of those meetings. In February 2003, Compassion Indonesia invited me to facilitate a discussion on ‘Church, Children and Mission.’ Dr. Tomatala and Dr. Dan Brewster (also a Fuller graduate) were the main speakers in that event. He was very friendly and warm to such a younger ‘scholar’ like me. He treated me like his old friend, though he actually is 21 years older than me. He encouraged me to develop myself in every aspect so that my ministry would be more effective. He shared me his life and invited me to follow his steps. Though His advice was rather general, it was interesting that he figured himself and acted like a father who is motivating his own son to always move forward in life.

In 2005, I was with him again. This time, I had a private lunch with him. I remember picking him up from a small hotel in Sukajadi, and then bringing him into a Sundanese restaurant in Jalan Riau. There again, he served me with a very gentle shepherding unending ‘sermon.’ The meals seemed to be no longer important. The conversation however, was so valuable. Dr. Tomatala again shared his life and motivated me to sharpen my vision in the ministry of the Kingdom. This time, knowing that I got married, he also gave some tips for a happy family.

In our meeting yesterday, Dr. Tomatala did what he usually does. He was friendly and warm. He kept motivating us to develop ourselves. He spoke like a father to his sons. His motivation words sounded familiar. He shared what he had achieved: publishing books, delivering lectures, leading institutions and others. He kept asking, 'What have all of you achieved?' He encouraged us to start now for a change and growth in our ministry and life.

I was amazed though that he remembered my name. The first question he asked me was: ‘Any progress pa Ery?’ I was to be honest not quite sure with his question. Progress? In what area? I mentioned to him that I had completed my degree in the UK, and now I am applying what I have studied in the church and the institute where I am working with. I also shared my desire, my effort and my strategy to pursue a doctorate somewhere sometimes. He seemed to be happy knowing that ‘progress.’

For me personally, it is always good to have someone who rigorously motivates me to move forward in fulfilling God’s calling in me. Dr. Tomatala always shares his own life to the younger generation he meets. He does that passionately, enthusiastically and energetically. His sharing and motivation are eternal investment to those who are listening to him and make positive responses. He said: ‘You are what you perceive (your response) of what someone else says about you.’

This time, Dr. Tomatala said something significant for me. I perceived his words as a message from God. A vision of a leader, he said, has to be: (1) Glorifying God; (2) Benefiting others; (3) Fulfilling our most inner being. His message renews my vision about my family, my ministry and my own self in relationship with God. His words have helped me to boldly and optimistically continue my life in fulfilling the precious call of God.

At the end of our conversation, Dr. Tomatala shared about the unexpected death of his son. After lunch, he asked me personally, ‘How many children do you have, pa Ery?’ I said two, but one died earlier this year. His mimic changed; He stopped his step and said, ‘We experienced the same lost pa Ery: the same sadness of loosing our loved ones.’ I said to him and to myself, ‘Yes, but God is always faithful to us; His plan is wonderful and beyond our expectation.’ May these words be a blessing and motivation for both of us!

This post pays respect to Dr. Tomatala, a true motivator and father to many younger scholars. His friendship and warmness to everybody he meets are always available. To me personally, he is also truly a friend and a brother who have been going through similar difficult experiences.

Grounds for Effective Leaders

Two days ago, I taught Christian Leadership for about 50 child social workers. This lecture was part of Holistic Child Development (HCD) program sponsored by Compassion Indonesia and Pelayanan Desa Terpadu (PESAT). This actually was not my first to deliver lecture on Christian Leadership for HCD program. This time, however, I shared new material developed few weeks ago by myself and my wife. Let us say: The Prasadjas on Effective Leadership. In my conversation with my wife on effective leadership, we posed a question: What are the true grounds that create an effective leader.

We found four foundations. First, effective leaders know the true meaning and value of life they live. Paul said, ‘Yet if I live, that means fruitful service for Christ’ (Phil 1.22a). The primary task of Christian living, the very existence of our life, is to bear fruit in good works, so that others are able to taste the goodness of God. Effective leaders, I think, are not called to live in self-centered spirit; effective leaders are the channel of God’s blessing. Without this spirit, we may be trapped in pursuing positions for our own benefit. Effective leaders live in a very strong conviction of their calling, and their understanding of the meaning and value of life

Second, effective leaders are men and women with consistent spirit of excellence. The very dream of effective leaders is to complete what have been assigned to him or her, not in second best quality, but in the best quality possible. Hard work and discipline are then required. For me, people cannot pursue success. Success comes and goes; we do not know when it comes and when it goes. Those who are ready to take success in life are those who discipline themselves to work hard.

Third, integrity stands as one of the most significant foundations for effective leaders. I mentioned five most important lifestyles related to integrity:

• Live what you believe and live what you say. Faith and action are not to be separated: be consistent!

• Be honest! Remember that politic is good only when it is used to pursue good purposes for all!

• Do not make any promise that you are not able to fulfill!

• Do not sacrifice your idealism for money!

• Keep your spirit of excellence in all situations and in all time! (Phil 2.12-18)

Fourth, effective leaders are leaders who are continue to develop themselves and their skills as leaders. Self development and skill development are two most important areas to be developed. Learning is an unending process. Learning is not limited by age, degrees, money or even positions. Effective leaders know that live to learn and learn to live go together hand in hand. When the rich say that they are rich enough, and therefore feel that working is no longer necessary, then they are falling into poverty. And when scholars say that they are smart enough, and therefore feel that studying is no longer necessary, then they are falling into a brainless lifestyle. Similarly, when leaders say that they are good and effective enough, and therefore feel that learning is no longer necessary, then they are going away from true effective leadership.

This posting goes with our prayer that readers will make a step forward towards effective leaders.

The 7th Congress and Symposium of PASTI (Nov 19-21, 2007)

I was in Surabaya for a congress and symposium of The Fellowship of Evangelical Colleges and Seminaries in Indonesia (PASTI). There, I met many scholars and leaders from about 45 evangelical institutions. I was glad to meet colleagues from different institutions: some of them were my former students, others were old friends, and of course some other were new to me. Bethany Theological College hosted the meeting.

I was asked to deliver a sermon in the first evening. I tell you what! Preaching (or let me use another friendlier word: sharing the word of God) to (evangelical) scholars was to be honest a new excited and challenging experience for me. Many of them are with doctorates and most of them hold masters degree from various prestigious institutions. I was a bit intimidated. God however was so gracious: it went well.

I was trying to stick and be faithful to the passage I chose (Hebrews 4.14-5.10). I had no personal interest and ambition, but to share the word and to touch the lives of the audience. My aim was to amplify the theme of the meeting: 'The Finality of Christ and its Implication to the Evangelical Mission.' Second to that, it was necessary for me to share a sermon that helped the forum to elect the new PASTI committee members. The election itself was one of the most important agendas of the congress.

The greatest experience however is to meeting different people from different institution. I humbled myself to learn the diversity of churches, seminaries, institutions and individuals. Talking about someone is completely different from talking with someone. Talking about one church is totally different from talking with someone represents that church. Similarly, talking about one college, seminary or institution is a far different experience from talking with someone who is representing those institutions. I asked God for his forgiveness, because we (or I) often do premature and unfair judgment towards people or institution without any effort to listen and understand them first.

This congress somehow opened my eyes and my heart not to be self-righteous. In our strengths, we know that we are to help others. And in our weaknesses, we know that others are available to help. We are not to boast our own strengths, and ignore others; and at the same time, we are not to walk in our weaknesses alone. The congress was such a wonderful time, where we, scholars (from different theological perspective), were able to sit and to worshipping God together.

Some people may say that a congress like this is full of political interests. That opinion may not be wrong, but I decided to view this occasion differently. I came to this congress to sharing life with others and to enjoy the process of learning from others. It is that decision that helped me to stay in that meeting with such of enjoyment and thanksgiving. Hallelujah!

Major Commentaries on Romans

Paul’s letter to the Romans is perhaps one of the most influential documents in the Bible. F. F. Bruce mentioned in the preface of his commentary that St. Augustine, Martin Luther and John Wesley are among the giants of faith whose journey of life had been significantly enlightened by the verses of Romans. It is not surprising that commentaries and studies on Romans are flourishing. Popular opinion says that the accomplishment of a New Testament scholar is not complete without publishing a commentary on Romans.

Below is the list of major commentaries on this amazing document available in English:

• Paul J. ACHTEMEIER. Romans (Interpretation). Atlanta: John Knox (1985)

• Charles Kingsley BARRETT. The Epistle to the Romans (BNTC). London: A&C Black (1957)/Peabody: Hendrickson (1991)

• Karl BARTH. The Epistle to the Romans. Oxford: OUP (1968)

• Matthew BLACK. Romans (NCBC). Grand Rapids: Eerdmans (1986)

• F. F. BRUCE. Romans (TNTC). London: Tyndale (1963)/Grand Rapids: Eerdmans (1990)

• Charles. E. B. CRANFIELD. Romans 3 Volumes (ICC). Edinburgh: T&T Clark (1976)

• James D. G. DUNN. Romans 2 Volumes (WBC). Waco: Word (1988)

• Robert K. JEWETT. Romans (Hermeneia). Philadelphia: Fortress (2006)

• Ernst KASEMANN. Commentary on Romans. London: SCM (1980)/Grand Rapids: Eerdmans (1994)

• Douglas MOO. The Epistle to the Romans (NICNT). Grand Rapids: Eerdmans (1996)

• Douglas MOO. Romans (NIV-AC). Grand Rapids: Zondervan (2000)

• Leon MORRIS. Epistle to the Romans (PNTC). Grand Rapids: Eerdmans (1988)

• Grant OSBORNE. Romans (IVP-NTC). Downers Grove: IVP (2003)

• Thomas R. SCHREINER. Romans (BECNT). Grand Rapids: Baker (1998)

• John R. W. STOTT. The Message of Romans (The Bible Speak Today). Leicester: IVP (2001)

• Peter STUHLMACHER. Paul’s Letter to the Romans. Edinburgh: T&T Clark (1994)

• Ben WITHERINGTON III. Paul’s Letter to the Romans: A Socio-Rhetorical Commentary. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans (2004)

Cranfield, Dunn and Jewett’s are I think the first choices for those who want to dig this letter seriously (from the academic side). Greek and basic New Testament knowledge are required to read those three commentaries above. Barth, Kasemann, Stuhlmacher (all German), and Achtemeier’s offer so many fresh unthinkable insights from this epistle. An interesting social exegetical approach is to be found mostly in Witherington’s commentary. Moo (NICNT) and Morris’ are very theological and friendly to the evangelicals. Moo (NIV-AC), Osborne and Stott’s are the most useful commentaries for pastors and lay ministers.

Relationship and Acceptance

In our staff’s meeting this morning, Pastor Bambang Widjaja, our senior pastor and the president of the institution, shared us an interesting topic on parameter for healthy Christian living. He reflected on Mark 12.28-31. If I understand correctly, he shared his belief that righteous Christian living equals to (means/results in) healthy relationships. If I were allowed to amplify his message, ‘Christianity is all about relationship.’

He mentioned three dimensions of relationship. Relationship with God signifies our spiritual fitness. Relationship with our own self signifies emotional fitness. Lastly, relationship with others signifies social fitness.

Pastor Widjaja also mentioned another catch word: ‘Acceptance.’ If we fully understand that through his love, God has accepted us, then we should have less (no) problem in accepting our own self. Subsequently, if we are able to accept our own self, we should have less (no) problem in accepting other people.

For me, relationship and acceptance are two very strong interrelated words. Pastor Widjaja concluded that our relationship with God is inseparable from our daily life. Prayer may be one indicator of healthy spiritual life, but it is not all. Yet, our relationship with God is determinative to the other two relationships. If our relationship with God is inharmonious, we could not expect healthy relationship with our own self and others.

I am so blessed with Pastor Widjaja’s message this morning. It reminds me on, and confirms my own favorite wisdom: ‘True Christian spirituality should be manifested (effective) in social realities.’

The Gift of Tongue

In my New Testament Theology class this morning, I and my students were involved in a very interesting dialogue on the gift of tongue (glossolalia). Among the gifts of the Spirit listed in 1 Corinthians 12 are the gift of tongue (speaking in unknown language) and the gift to interpret those unknown languages.

Few years ago, there was controversial story about one charismatic church: The church stressed that the gift of tongue is a must for all believers. That understanding led the church to offer a training school in order that the believers can learn how to speak in tongue (let say: “Tongue Training School”). I am not sure if the story is true, but it sounds natural in the charismatic circle. Speaking in tongue is in the charismatic churches considered as the most important or powerful among the gifts of the Spirit. Therefore all believers should possess and practice this phenomenal gift.

In our class this morning, we discussed the last gift listed in 1 Corinthians 12: the gift to interpret that unknown language (the gift of tongue). We have so many people (more than a thousand, I think) speaking in tongue during the Sunday services in our local church. And we may have some people who believe that they are able to interpret that unknown language.

I encouraged my students to do a field research. Recording people who speak in tongue individually, using the best tools (recorder and other electronic devices), and then ask those who believe to possess the gift of interpretation to translate those unknown languages.

The first task of the research is to discover the validity of the interpretation and/or translation. Will different people results in different interpretation/translation. If yes, can it be justified? The following task is to propose a dictionary of Tongue.

This posting sounds crazy doesn’t it? I myself am afraid of being too challenging towards God and the Holy Spirit. Yet, I feel that the idea is very natural, especially because we live in the era when technology might be called as the greatest miracle. And I think (seriously) that if the gift of tongue really is to build others (the congregation), which I strongly believe, then the dictionary should be a very helpful tool in nurturing the faith of the believers.

Let God and the power of the Holy Spirit prevail!

Charles Francis Digby Moule

We have lost another giant in New Testament Studies, the Reverend Professor C. F. D. Moule. He died on the 30th of September 2007 at the age of 98. Moule had 'produced' the finest scholars in New Testament field through doctoral supervision he provided while serving as professor at the university of Cambridge. James D. G. Dunn (Lightfoot Professor Emeritus at Durham), Nicholas T. Wright (Bishop of Durham) and Robert Morgan (New Testament Professor at Oxford) are among others who benefited Moule's insight, wisdom and friendship.

Times (Oct 5, 2007) writes: 'With the death of Professor C. F. D. Moule the academic world has lost a fastidious scholar who combined a passion for exact truth about the New Testament with modesty and a capacity for friendship with people of very different types and ages.'

Guardian (Oct 24th, 2007) writes: 'In the faculty, his wisdom usually prevailed, showing gentleness and humility are not to be confused with weakness.'

Daily Telegraph (Oct 2th, 2007) writes: 'An attractive personality allied to great erudition and exceptional gifts as a teacher made him a popular Cambridge figure for more than 40 years, and his influence in the field of NT studies was considerable.'

Moule was to spend most of his life in Cambridge, first as tutor and vice-principal of Ridley Hall, 1936-44; then as Dean of Clare, 1944-51; then as Lady Margaret’s Professor of Divinity (one of the most prestigious chairs in the United Kingdom) until 1976, when he moved back to Ridley Hall. From 1955 to 1976 he was also canon theologian (non-residentiary) of Leicester Cathedral. He became an honorary Doctor of Divinity of St Andrews in 1958 and of Cambridge in 1988. He was a Fellow of the British Academy, 1966, and president of the International Society for New Testament Studies, 1967.

For the last four years of his life he lived in a residential home in Dorset. Moule was unmarried.

Psalm 120 and 1 Timothy

This week, I was asked to deliver two different sermons for two different occasions, and I could not refuse those requests. First, one of my dear friends in the church, Retty, who was scheduled to preach on Tuesday morning staff chapel, physically was not well enough to lead the service. For that morning chapel, I read Psalm 120 pointing out David as an extraordinary example of how one should be honest and open to God. Our God is great enough to understand and to embrace us all. There is no need for us to live in a spirit of denial.

Yesterday, I was asked to deliver a sermon in celebrating the 64^th birthday of Rev. Gunawan Tijono (one of our senior pastors). I did not dare enough to refuse to preach in such a special occasion. For that birthday dinner, I read Paul’s first letter to Timothy, arguing that Christian faith and life should be based on the purity of heart and conscience. This sermon challenges the natural interpretation of 1 Tim 3.1. Unlike the traditional approaches, I showed that 1 Tim 3.2-7 is far more important than 1 Tim 3.1. The very task of Timothy was to attack those who wished to exercise authority, yet neglecting the very key point of conscience (1 Tim 1.18-20). My approach and interpretation also boldly tackle the difficulties of understanding the relationship of men and women in this epistle (1 Tim 2.8-15) and other polemical issues in the Pastoral Epistles. It is a reminder that legal position or authority is deceiving without the active presence of sincere conscience.

I presented the sermon as a kind of festschrift to Mr. Tijono. It was fresh from the oven. This sermon was also a result of a relatively long struggle (6 years) in finding the answer of a simple question posed by Dr. Bambang Widjaja. In 2001, after dinner, he asked me, ‘Ry, what do you think about 1 Tim 3.1?’ I do not remember what my answer was, but I had not been satisfied until the light touched my heart while reading this most controversial Pauline epistle, yet it is truly my favorite. Eureka!

A Detailed Introduction

Last Saturday, my senior pastor introduced me to someone. He said to this man, "Ery is a believer (lit: child of God); He is a husband of one wife; He is a father of one daughter; He serves as Dean of Students (and also in Research and Development) for INTI; and finally, He is the younger brother of Bambang Budijanto."

• It is certainly more than a mere introduction. To each category he (my senior pastor) mentioned, I have certain responsibilities (moral and/or legal).

• The order shows that God is first, family is second, job is third, and relation to others is the last one. This order seems to be very evangelical. Yet the order also shows how my pastor carefully and consistently tries to hide the name of Bambang Budijanto (my 'famous' older brother) until the end of his introduction.

• To that detailed introduction, I praise God. I am blessed to be His child. I am happy with my family. I am committed to my work. And I am very proud to have a very godly and productive brother. No doubt, I am so grateful to God who is so gracious in granting me a meaningful life to live with.

Meeting People

I met Rev. A. H. Mandey on the 14th of September 2007. We met accidently in a chinese restaurant in Cikarang, and someone (his compannion) introduced me to him. He is probably the most senior leader in the Pentacostal circle in Indonesia today. He was one of the pioneers in tele-evangelism. His sermons have been in TV since I was in junior high or even before. I know that he is a famous Christian leader for so long. This however was my first time to have the opportunity to salute him in person. I shook his hand and bowed my head, admiring the very Rev. Mandey for his faithfulness in ministry.

On the 26th of September 2007, I met Angelique Widjaja. She is a national tennis player, though she has been absent from tournaments lately. A friend in our church (he was also a student in my New Testament class) introduced her to me just in front of my office. I shook her hand paying tribute for her real contribution to the country. She looks taller, slimmer and younger.

Dissertation Supervision

If You do your thesis/dissertation/final project under my supervision, please do read these tips! To others, hopefully these tips will help you passing through tough process of completing your dissertation.

1. You may not get an ‘A’ (A supervisor does not grade your work). An ‘A’ however is far less important than a maximum learning satisfaction and a growing life.

2. An ‘A’ is a public evaluation upon your work, but do remember that public opinions are often very subjective – and sometimes lack of credibility. Not achieving an ‘A’ is not a sin, nor a failure. Say it to yourself: ‘The examiners have failed to see the jewel within my work – but God will never fail!’ Doesn’t true judgment come only from God? The true reward of your thesis is not your grade, but your maturing life.

3. But when you get an ‘A’, do remember that the ‘A’ is not all yours. Your loved ones are part of your global effort in completing your study. God grants you an ‘A’ not mainly to add your confidence – He gives it to you (1) knowing that you are humble enough to be trusted with an ‘A’, or (2) knowing that you need to affirm that God is so merciful to you.

4. Your sin is when you do not try to reach your maximum potential! And your supervisor’s very sin is when he or she does not encourage you (or ‘push you’ so to speak) to reach your maximum potential! Do your best! God and (perhaps) your supervisor know your weaknesses – yet God and a good supervisor want you to overcome those weaknesses by your very hard work, discipline and serious commitment.

5. Read books, articles, essays related to your work as much as possible! See the world and the lives surround you with open eyes and open heart! Try to reflect what have been written in documents with the world’s realities. This will help your thesis to sound (be heard) and function.

6. Write your thesis according to the (grammatical) rule. Do remember that good grammar results in good grade. Grammatical errors show your lack of commitment to the work. Learn how to quote, how to write bibliography, how to distinguish prefixes from preposition, how to do footnoting, and how to compose a good and clear sentence! Accordingly, your thesis should be readable. Do not waste your time and energy by writing a document that no one finds enjoyment in reading it!

7. Clarify your thought and argument! Focus on your topic! Do not let good materials destroy your glorious vision! You are not building a complex building, not even a simple one. Do remember that you are producing only a small piece of a complex building. That small piece however should uphold the building to value well.

8. Build a solid argument! You are presenting your argument and persuading your examiners to buy your argument. A convincing argument should be built on strong roots and developed on tough trunks.

9. Try your best to submit your drafts on the appointed time.

10. Love your work – Have passion on it!

11. Pray, pray and pray! Pray for your work, your respondents, your loved ones, your health, your friends (who are in a similar situation and struggle), your commitment, your ministries, your church, your leaders, your spiritual life and not the least pray for your supervisor! In everything let God lead you in His wonderful road – but at the same time, in everything let you not reduce your duties to live your life best. May God bless you!

Keiko El Kamal: Our Daughter - God's Perfect Creation

Keiko, our daughter is growing incredibly. She catches words with their meaning very quickly. Our observation reveals that she is very logic and clever. She for example always tries to find something to dry (toilet paper, napkins, etc.) when she discovers a drop of water on our dining table. Interestingly enough, she never ask for paper or napkins when the water drop is found on the floor. Instead, she uses a rug to clean it.

She looks to be a very friendly little girl. She enjoys her social life well. Last week during and after church's service, she was easily befriended with boys and girls. Guess what? She was the youngest among the children she played with. She is also very happy to walk around our house and to play with our neighboring children.

I and my wife are so thankful to God for this lovely little girl; we are so amazed to see and to live with God's perfect creation and blessing: Keiko El Kamal.

Dr. Sudarwodadi

Two weeks ago, a good friend of mine died after years battling against cancer in his body. He had been an expert in agronomy with a doctorate degree, and served as a pastor in one of our local churches. I visited him in the hospital only two days before he died. Unlike other friends, this man had a very strong memory, even in the terminal stage of his life. He welcomed me back to Indonesia and asked about my study in Oxford in detail. Many friends even do not know what I had been doing in Oxford, but amazingly he knew about the nature and purpose of my study.

I remember the way he encouraged me to go to Oxford about ten months ago. Then I was invited to preach in his church. He was always excited to see young Christians who do further studies. He shared with me his academic journey and proudly convinced me that learning is the way towards serving and influencing others effectively.

Lying on his bed two weeks ago, he kept his encouragement and desire on me saying cheerfully: "When will you complete your Ph.D?" Physically he was weak, but his mind and heart were completely alert. His interest in endless learning is endless!

His children and children in laws are also good friends of me. They mentioned that hours before he died, consciously, he asked the whole family to celebrate communion, and pray the Lord's Prayer together as a family. It is a great testimony for me. Though I do not know him for long, Dr. Sudarwodadi had been a great simple person that God allowed me to learn from.

The Purpose of Suffering

I was last week struck with a note taken about eight months ago when I was in India. It was a lecture on suffering given by a Christian Indian leader.

The Purposes (Benefits?) of Suffering: 1. Suffering helps us to shape our characters 2. Suffering helps us to recognize our true friends 3. Suffering reveals the truth inside us 4. Suffering helps us to hope on the more glorious eternity 5. Suffering helps us to be free from the bound with earthly things 6. Suffering gives us opportunity to think about God 7. Suffering helps us to understand that God suffers with us 8. Suffering helps us to be more sensitive with others who are suffering 9. Suffering helps us to be more open in relationship with others 10. Through suffering, God is working for our good

My Dissertation Supervisor

My dissertation supervisor hold two doctorates. He completed his PhD in physic before entering the wild world of theology and end up with another PhD. We had a long conversation concerning my draft last Friday. Some of you may already know that conversation with dissertation supervisor will normally results in the encouragement to improve the quality, to modify the argument, or worse to rework what you have submitted. Academic supervisors normally say that our methodology needs to be modified, our argument needs to be more focus, that we need more resources to support that argument, or again worse that we do not pose any distinguish and significant argument in our work. I was reminded that as students, we should be expecting to receive more criticism rather than praise and appreciation. A friend of mine who just completed his PhD with distinction said that many if not all research students have been verbally 'abused' and 'insulted' - harsh and sarcastic criticism is not unusual. I myself went through similar experiences - and please accept my apology since sometimes I do the same thing to my own students. What can we say? Attending academic institution is not aimed to prove, but to improve our academic ability. To achieve this purpose, often 'abusive' words are needed if not required. As students we sometimes are in the state of uncertainty, posed by so many unanswerable questions beyond our highest possible rationale. We often feel being so stupid and unworthy. Many students think about giving up their study. The 'promised land' seems to be very far away - and the road to that land seems to be thorny. I benefited from the conversation with my supervisor last Friday and I am so grateful for that. I learnt from his critical thought and the depth of his reflection. His contribution certainly will improve the quality of my dissertation and avoid unnecessary shameful 'blunder' arguments. More interestingly however is his unfailing commitment not to separate academy from the church. Academic achievement should not end in itself. To be honest, Christianity has suffered from the discontinuity of academic theological education from the pastoral responsibilities of the church. Similar but in different setting, many Christians unfortunately live in discontinuity from the message of the Bible. The most impressive experience with my supervisor happened a few days before the conversation. In public (small group prayer of 10 faculty and students), he prayed for me and my study. Wow!!!! What a wonderful treasure to have an academic supervisor who prays for his own pupil! He sharply criticizes me but at the same time he compassionately prays for me. He does what we understand as 'ora et labora.'

God is Beyond Our Description

In 1986, Mark Altrogge wrote a very beautiful song picturing the depth of God's wisdom and love. Here is the lyric: You are beautiful beyond description, too marvellous for words, too wonderful for comprehension, like nothing ever seen or heard. Who can grasp Your infinite wisdom? Who can fathom the depth of Your love? You are beautiful beyond description, Majesty, enthroned above. And I stand, I stand in awe of You; I stand, I stand in awe of You. Holy God, to whom all praise is due, I stand in awe of You. I first heard and sang this song in December 1993 during the funerary mourning service of an influential evangelist and close friend of mine, Jerimia Rim. The wisdom and the love of God are truly beyond my description. Why God decided to end a life of a very fruitful evangelist in his most productive years (he was only 41 when he was died)? We do not have the answer. We cannot ask 'why' to God. To reconstruct the mind of God will result in futility. I believe that this strangeness was experienced by his family, close friends and those who love him. Altrogge's beautiful song carries two significant messages. First, the author knows that God is great, and he therefore desires to picture God's greatness. Unfortunately, as indicated by the lyric, the author fails: God is beyond description. His wisdom is too high to be grasped; His love is too deep to be comprehended. So, instead of successfully picturing God, the author of this song has to admit that he fails. His failure however is the very point where we can see and experience the beauty of God. We often if not always fail to comprehend God. 'Readers, please be careful if you feel that you understand God!' Once we claim that we understand God, we may fall into a manipulative process of formulating idea about God. Our conception of God is often driven by our self-centred desires. To be honest, we often create an unbiblical image of God. Instead of making God like an laboratory object of research, the song invites us to let God alone in His infinite beauty. Second, regardless of our 'permanent' disability to comprehend the wisdom and love of God, the author rightly encourages us to keep 'standing in awe of God.' Praising God is wthout question our 'unpaid' duty even if God does not fit with our expectation. While the song indicates the failure of the author to comprehend God - to be fair - the song also shows that the author is successful in keeping his commitment to worship God. This is in fact the true worship: a thanksgiving and praise to God even in the midst of difficult situation, when God seems to be far away from our desire. This reflection is written in remembrance of our brother, Jerimia Rim. Thirteen years ago (few months before he died), he led me a personal tour in the brand new church building in Putat Gede, and shared me his vision for the city of Surabaya. For Meliani, JR, and all people who love and respect him, may this song brings comfort and renewal in our commitment to serve God that is not always easily comprehended.

Living in God's Light - Living by Grace (1 Jn 1.5-2.8)

The first epistle of John believes that Christian identity is straightly related to living in the light as a contrast against living in darkness (1 Jn 1.5-2.8). 1. Jesus came to the world to preach that 'God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all' (1 Jn 1.5). To believe in God through Jesus, His Son means to live (literally: 'to walk') not in darkness (1 Jn 1.6-7). Our Christian identity is defined by our fellowship with both God and other believers; and our fellowship with God and with other believers is described by the way we live. Note: the fellowship with other believers is discussed in 1 Jn 2.9-11). 2. Through the blood of Jesus, we who believe in Him are cleansed and purified (1 Jn 1.7). The blood of Jesus is effective only to those who admit and confess their sins before God (1 Jn 1.8-9). The blood of Jesus enables believers to live in the light over against the darkness. The community of believers is the fellowship of women and men who have been purified and cleansed by the blood of Jesus and called to walk a righteous life. Believers are women and men with new identity and new ethics. The very foundation of Christian ethics is therefore the cleansing by the precious blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus is the prime motivation and the only enabler for believers to live in God's light. 3. The fellowship in God is marked by consistently keeping and obeying the truth of the Word of God (1 Jn 2.4-6). The old era has passed, now we live in a new era (1 Jn 2.8). Living in God's light means stop sinning and discontinue to live in sinful behaviour! (1 Jn 2.1). But even if we fail to live a righteous life, the forgiveness of God prevails and is available for those who admit and confess their sins (1 Jn 2.2). The main point of the text is without question a calling and encouragement to live a righteous living. It is not a choice for those who claim to be the follower of Jesus - it is related to the very foundation of Christian identity. At the same time, the text also recognizes the power of God's grace over the human weaknesses. The text assures us that forgivenss is always available at any time. John seems to believe not only in a single possible repentance. Sanctification by the blood of Jesus is an ongoing process that begins with crucial decision to believe God in and through Jesus. 4. At one point, the focus of this passage is a strong ethical encouragement. Christian ethics is not additional in nature. Christian ethics is attached at the very heart of our Christian identity. Being and doing cannot be separated. At the other point John strongly believes in the abundance grace of God. This grace is unlimited and available even for the whole world (1 Jn 2.2). The passage indicates that the blood of Jesus has the power to cleanse the sinners not only once at the beginning, but also continuously as we live in Him. Notice the parallelism of 1 Jn1.10 and 1 Jn 2.6 which I think serves as the very foundation of the passage. God's commandment is not impossible commandment because God's grace first and continually cleanses, empowers and enables believers to live in obedience. The source of command is at the same time the source of the empowerment. What we as believers need to do is simply to live by God's grace and in obediece to His command. May I invite you?

'The Darkness is Passing Away, and the True Light is Already Shinning' (1 Jn 2.8).

Trust and Obey

On Wednesday morning, we sang the old classic song 'Trust and Obey' in our chapel. The last time I sang this song was probably some 20 years ago when I regularly attended youth services in my high school - but amazingly God through this song has been doing a lot of comfort and encouragement to me and my family here and now (especially these last few days). Please read the words attentively, and let God speaks to our heart.

To accompanny this song, my Bible reading this morning straight forwardly proclaims the core of Christian discipleship: 'Whoever claims to live in Jesus must walk as Jesus did' (1 Jn 1.6).

'Trust and Obey' (John H. Sammis & Daniel B. Towner) When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word, What a glory He sheds on our way! While we do His good will, He abides with us still, And with all who will trust and obey. Refrain: Trust and obey, for there’s no other way To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey. Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies, But His smile quickly drives it away; Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear, Can abide while we trust and obey. Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share, But our toil He doth richly repay; Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross, But is blessed if we trust and obey. But we never can prove the delights of His love Until all on the altar we lay; For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows, Are for them who will trust and obey. Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet. Or we’ll walk by His side in the way. What He says we will do, where He sends we will go; Never fear, only trust and obey.