WHAT IS YOUR FOOTPRINTS?

Yesterday evening, I met a person who is now facing a very difficult situation. Because of some delicate issues, he is forced to leave his present job in the next few months. And you know what, he started to work for this company only six months ago. He loves his job, his co workers, the challenges, the leadership, the mission of the company and everything related with his job. 'Though problems are everywhere and everytime, I feel that I am in the ideal place right now,' he commented on his present job. He has not yet discovered what to do for the next stage of his life. His future is undecided. He knows already that his time is very short to find a new job. He is responsible not only to himself, but also for his family. He understands that the global crisis may prevent him to get a job he likes to do. In short, he is stress and feeling under heavy pressure. My prompt guess: He must be worrying about his uncertain future.

As a ‘half-pastor,’ I asked him to share what has been the cause of his stress, with the hope that I may be a little help to him. He said that his awareness of time is now escalating. ‘Oh, my time is short,’ he sighed. My mouth automatically opens bombing him with sermon. I cut his sentence by encouraging and suggesting him to apply for jobs as many as possible. ‘God will open doors or at least one door for you,’ I said. ‘No, No, No!’ he replied immediately. ‘Yes, I am worrying about my unknown future, but that is not the real disturbing issue,’ he continued ‘What I am truly worrying is the fact that my left time to work with this company is becoming shorter and shorter – and I am feeling with a great fear of leaving this company without leaving any positive footprints.’

‘You know Ery,’ he said, ‘Finding a new job in the crisis situation is absolutely not easy, but being forced to leave something that you fall in love with and you feel that God has called you to do is a big horror.’ He continued, ‘My main and first focus is now not to find a new job, but to express my love dedicatedly to my present job in this company as part of my accountability to God in the left short available time.’ ‘I want to make sure that my presence in this company whatever short it is contributes something significant and positive whatever small it is,’ he gently said. ‘Have I? Am I? Will I? Can I?’ he asked, begging a possible possibility.

I went home without peace in mind, questioning myself if there is any good I left to my family, my friends, my place of work, and to this world. As I approaching 40, my sense of time is escalating: my left available time to live in this world is becoming shorter and shorter – and I am accountable to God for the life He grants me to live.

Inspiring Words from Rudyard Kipling

Few days ago, I was with LDP (Leadership Development Program) students, having fellowship with them in their annual retreat. One of the speakers cited inspiring words from Rudyard Kipling, saying:

'If you don’t get what you want, it’s a sign either that you did not seriously want it, or that you tried to bargain over the price.’

At one point, these words seem to place all responsibilities on us. We are responsible to decide what desire we desire. We are also responsible to test whether the desire we desire is truly a desire of us. Lastly, any desire we true have is not free, and we are fully responsible to pay the price. Only by fulfilling those three responsibilities, we will transform our true desire into reality. God seems to work only behind the scene.

At the other point, however, these words convey the truth and the reality of most of us. Often what we perceive as our desire springs only from our lips - not from our heart. Desire that comes merely from lips gives birth to a frustration. On the contrary, desire that comes from our heart gives (or should give) birth to a deep commitment at whatever cost it will take.

May this saying transform and challenge the way we live this precious life God has given us.

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) was an English author and poet. He was awarded Nobel Prize in literature in 1907.

A. J. Cronin on God's Perfect Ways

Upon my arrival from Germany in 2001, my father asked me to read a beautiful poem by A. J. Cronin. This poem is truly a wonderful treasure to me. In a line with that poem, few weeks ago, a friend of mine shared in the office chapel her reflection on what she called as 'trusting God.' Both the poem and the reflection confirm and uncover what God has been recently showing me through dreams. They teach me that in all situation whether it is good or bad, it is always appropriate to say, 'It is up to you God. Lead me according to your perfect way, though it may sound silly according to my own judgment.' Do enjoy Cronin's poem below:

Life is no straight and easy corridor

along which we travel

free and unhampered,

but a maze of passages,

through which we must seek our way,

at times, lost and confused,

now and again checked in a blind alley.

But always, if we have faith,

a door will open for us,

not perhaps one that we ourselves

would ever have thought of,

but one that will ultimately

prove good for us

Love: A Borderless Christian Vision

Few weeks ago, I got an opportunity to visit the United States. It was for the purpose of attending the Global Leadership Forum of Compassion International. About eleven years ago I left the country after completing my first degree in theology. Then, I lived in Chicago for three years. I felt somehow that my recent visit was different. I experienced my second culture shock to the American culture (and people so to speak).

September 11, 2001 has changed the world map and situation, especially the United States. The brutal terrorist attack on WTC and the Pentagon created deep trauma for the Americans and the rest of the world. This attack, in my perspective found its ground in hatred. As a result of that traumatic event, entering the United States has been becoming more and more difficult, especially for those who come from Islamic countries or countries with huge number of Muslim population, like Indonesia – which in addition to that situation is unfortunately famous as the home for some of the most wanted terrorists. In some European countries, I know by my own experience, the time for visa processing for countries associated with terrorism is longer compared with other countries. A friend of mine told me few weeks before my departure to the United States that obtaining a US-Visa is considered more difficult than approaching the gate of heaven (read: salvation). In fact, my first application for US-Visa was refused. Praise God, I got the US-visa on my second coming to the embassy. A friend of mine had to apply for three times before he got the US-visa. The list of so many sad stories of visa refusal is to be frank endless.

Somehow, I felt uncomfortable with my recent trip to the United States. I felt a little bit intimidated. It was uneasy for me to face the immigration officer at the Los Angeles International Airport. My good fellow told me how he previously was randomly selected for further investigation in the Airport, and it took three hours before he was finally ‘released.’ Thank to God for making my way to enter the United States smooth - people do support me in prayer, and God answered!.

There I met friends, brother and sisters in Christ who warmly welcomed me. This truly was a comfort to me, knowing that friendship and brotherhood in Christ is not limited and bordered by nationality and passport issuing countries. The world’s perspective on the United States and the United States’ perspective on the world may be dramatically changed because of the horror and hatred of 9/11, but friendship and brotherhood in Christ have a different stronger foundation: it is love, a vision given by our Lord himself to rule all of the world’s elements to live in harmony. Love is not only a feeling nor an action, but a vision that should drive the life of the believers and all creatures. It is love that overcame my second culture shock upon visiting the United States of America.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MORA (May 26, 2008)

We visited the burial site of our beloved daughter and sister, Moravidelita El Nytia last Monday, May the 26^th. Then was exactly one year after she was delivered from her mother’s womb. Keiko enthusiastically led us all singing ‘Happy Birthday to Mora.’ We sang that song three times. The situation was heartrending. Esther once again deeply cried expressing her apology. Keiko commented, ‘Mommy is sad!’ – ‘Keiko is also sad!’ I kept my mouth shut, though I still felt the pain inside.

We also visited the tomb of Mora’s ‘friends in heaven’: Johan Imanuel and Jaqueline Kana. Both died when they were very young in age. As I walked along the graveyard, my eyes became extremely sensitive and insightful towards kids mausoleum: I sensed strongly the solidarity and camaraderie with parents who lost their babies and young children – and many of us pose identical unreturned question: WHY? God knows the answer, and only God is able to validate the rationale. In most cases however, God does not make the answer and the justification available. Whatever genius the elucidation is, we will not consent with it anyway. Most of grieving parents do not need words. Our ability to comprehend the mind of God is worthless - and I exceedingly doubt the accuracy of our inadequate emotional comprehension. What God offers us and in chorus searching for from us is neither clarification nor comfort, but true friendship and companionship (Heb 4.15): things that we need most!

The Story of Jonah: 'Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God'

One of the most genius prophets in the Old Testament Books is Jonah. Jonah had the capability to detect the mind of God, even three or four steps ahead. The reason of why Jonah did not willing to go to Nineveh is stated in Jonah 4.2. He knew already that God could easily cancel His plan to destroy the Ninevehs. Jonah’s knowledge of God was so precise and exactly proven.

In contrast, God seemed to be lack of knowledge about Jonah. He seemed to send wrong person to accomplish His mission. As a leader, one will choose someone trustable, loyal, capable, and qualified to sit as his or her assistant – or in this context, as God’s ambassador, apostle or prophet. God chose Jonah, but Jonah went to the opposite direction (1.3). Jonah completely and intentionally disobeyed God.

Jonah knew God well, but God did not know Jonah well enough.

Jonah refused to go to Nineveh because of some likely motives. First, Jonah might be afraid of the Ninevehs. They were famous of their iniquity. They were evildoers. They did not know their right hands from their left. In New Living Translation’s words, ‘the Ninevehs lived in spiritual darkness.’ Entering the city of Nineveh was a suicidal action. Second, Jonah might be reluctant to preach God’s message to the Ninevehs (the evil non-Jews) because of his narrow Jewish exclusive nationalistic spirit. As a member of the covenant community (the chosen nation), Jonah did not want the evil Ninevehs to be saved. Jonah was a true genuine Jewish prophet. These two reasons had unfortunately created an extremely selfish prophet of God. Jonah loved his national identity, his religion and himself more than he loved God who indeed sent him.

The book of Jonah therefore shows the contrast between the infinite love of God and the coldness of Jonah. Jonah preferred to sink and died in the deep of the sea instead of to preaching the Lord’s judgment to the Ninevehs. But God sent a big fish to save Jonah. This rescue was not for the sake of his Jewish prophet Jonah, but because of his unlimited love to the evil non-Jewish Ninevehs. The end of the book strengthens this argument (4.10-11). Though according to the author, God’s knowledge about Jonah was bare minimum, His love was unfailing. On the contrary, though Jonah’s knowledge about God was accurate, he was an egotistic and selfish prophet. The hero in this narrative is brilliantly pictured as God’s compassion and abundant love – not human super knowledge.

As I am writing this reflection, my memory goes to dazzling inspiring words of one of modern prophets to the poor, Bob Pierce. He said, ‘Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God.’ Pierce is the founder of World Vision International. The words have been since then the motto of the organization. World Vision has been used by God for years to bless millions of unfortunate people.

The Ninevehs were unfortunate. They were evildoers and doomed to death, but Jonah, the prophet of God was not keen to see them transformed and saved. God’s heart was broken for the Ninevehs, Jonah’s was not.

My Heroine, Esther

Last week, I delivered a sermon for a Sunday service in Medan. The topic was taken out of my favorite heroine, Esther. I read Esther 4.10-17 and 5.1-8. Here are the five qualities of Esther that crowned her as one of the greatest women in the biblical history:

First, Esther started her fight with prayer and fasting. Though the personal and the generic name of God is absent from the book, Esther’s dependence on God was obvious. The heroes and heroines of God are distinct, exactly because the source of the power and authority come distinctively from God himself.

Second, Esther was not only an active commander; she also fought together with her people. She requested that all Jewish people in Susa to pray and fast for three days. Her command bound not only to all Jewish people in Susa, but also to herself and her close maids. Esther ran a prayer and fasting movement in the whole nation with her own prayer and fasting. Her character was certainly far from NATO (No Action, Talk Only).

Third, Esther was an extraordinarily valiant risk-taker. The law said (and all people knew) that anyone who appears before the king in his inner court without being invited is doomed to die unless the king holds out his gold scepter. And the king has not called for Esther to come to him for more than a month. The king’s invitation, I believe, was not unrelated with his sexual favor (or perhaps flavor). In chapter two, Esther was given a special one year beauty treatment before she came to the king. The one year beauty treatment proved to be successful. The king loved her. But the situation was now different, for more than a month, the king has not had sexual appetite towards Esther. The one year beauty treatment is in the book of Esther contrasted against the three days fasting. The three days fasting should even be worse devastating Esther’s physical performance, and therefore ruining the king’s sexual appetite. Hence, Esther said, ‘If I must die, I am willing to die.’ Hero and Heroine are risk-takers. The greater risk one maturely, courageously and free-willingly takes determines his or her heroic quality. In my words, ‘we are what we risk.’

Fourth, Esther was not a self-centered person. Esther risked herself, neither for the sake of her own nor for her own family. She was the queen. She lived in a pleasant palace. She enjoyed comfort and security. No one knew she was a Jew. Why would she sacrifice herself by placing her in a very perilous position? The answer is: she risked herself because of his people, the Jews were facing extermination. Half of the kingdom was even available and offered for Esther, why would she do all these ‘stupid’ things? No hero or heroine lives for him or herself. Heroes and heroines live for the sake of others.

Fifth, Esther did not run away from her strategic position as a queen. She was responsible with her position. She knew that she was the (only) key person to transform the circumstances. She was the one (no others) to turn the situation around. While so many people run away from difficulties, hero or heroine will always be there to stand in front of the world realities; and Esther did it.

As I meditated on Esther, I remembered one of the most celebrated modern martyrs, Dr. Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He was young, genius and brilliant. He was invited to the US by his colleagues, the Niebuhrs, to teach at Union Theological Seminary in New York. Bonhoeffer did sail to New York, but he preferred to return to Germany to die under the rezim of Hitler few months afterward. Bonhoeffer did not live long, but as Jesus, he did not live for himself. Bonhoeffer lived for God and for his nation as what Esther did for her God and her people.

Finally, the absence of God’s name in the book of Esther demonstrates that first, God worked behind the scene as he often does; yet second, the absence of God’s name explains the nature of God’s economy. God always works together with his chosen heroes and heroines. To be a hero or a heroine is not so much a matter of human capabilities, but keenness to be used by God, that is a willingness to risk oneself for those who are in need.